Tag: Family

  • Am I E.B. White?

    This question could be rather startling and could lead to an identity crisis. I have heard from several people that my writing sometimes echoes the same style of E.B. White. I have read several of his works, and I can agree with this. I also found that some of our conclusions are the same over topics like radiation and farm animals. This fact alone would not make me E. B. White, but are there further parallels that might tip the scales? First, E. B. White was a writer. So am I. He liked to write essays and short stories and other things. I like to do the same thing. However, I do not have the notoriety of E. B. White, so that at least is a difference that might make me my own person. This would make me at best an amateur, and at worst a poor imitator. He lived in the North. I have also lived in the North. He lived in the South. I also live in the South. White had a fondness for farm animals, and in particular geese. He also had a dog. I have a fondness for farm animals, geese, and I also have a dog. But there is one singular difference between E. B. White and myself, and this alone answers the existential question.

    You see, this does not pertain to the domain of science or philosophy or theology. This has nothing to do with whether a person can live across times or be reincarnated. No, the is a matter of eggs. You see, E. B. White was a man of the North, which means he enjoyed brown eggs. I am a man of the South, and as he himself noted, people of the south like white eggs. This is generally true. If I buy eggs from the store – on account of an annual egg strike over winter by my layers – I buy white eggs because it is ingrained in me from my Southness. He pointed out that to a southerner a brown egg is not an egg. It must be white. A northerner would say a white egg is not an egg – it must be brown. It is very true that people go out of their way to make sure we have proper egg coloration. They will paint their brown eggs white and their white eggs brown just to ensure the eggs are actually eggs – otherwise they might have to go hungry. Since it is a staple of our diet, this is really important. It is also a cultural distinction and we must preserve culture.

    However, I actually think the division is absurd, not because regional distinction is a problem, but because of a recent problem, which I’ll address shortly. I take things a step further than E. B. White. I have learned over the years, as he himself knew, that there are more than just brown eggs and white eggs. I break the Mason-Dixon mold of egg colors that E. B. White observed. It seems we have been forced into boxes by a small group of chicken farmers. It is true, truer then than now, that it is more common to find brown eggs up north and white eggs down south. And this can make a person proud that their region of the country has the right egg.

    What we have now is rather troubling, and not something E. B. White could have foreseen, and something he would probably lament. Not only has the cultural distinction broken down: we have white eggs and brown eggs everywhere, but eggs have been hijacked by egg factories. They promote that white eggs are factory eggs and that brown eggs are free range eggs. Therefore, companies charge more for brown eggs. Brown eggs are from happy chickens running in the grass. White eggs are from evil factories where the chicken is stuck in a cage. What is ironic is that the color of the egg has nothing to do with health or not. The same chicken that lays the white egg in a cage in a factory will lay a white egg in the field running free. It has nothing to do with egg color. It has to do with the breed of chicken.

    E. B. White observed that the South had a prevalence for white eggs because of an industrious chicken known as the Leghorn. She happens to lay white eggs. She works very hard and lays almost the entire year. Some breeds lay more; some lay less. Capitalists understood the value of consistency and efficiency, which is what the Leghorn gives. But companies nowadays throw shade on the Leghorn by claiming she is a factory chicken and her cousins are better than her because they get to be free range. In reality, the mass produced free range chickens don’t vary that much from the factory chicken. Instead, their egg colors are hijacked for marketing purposes to sell a lie. It is also true that the white egg can be cheaper because the Leghorn lays so much – perhaps too much for her own good. Now you have too much supply, which drops the value. But the Rocks and Reds up north and the other reliable brown egg layers can also lay the same amount, but they get to be “free” and that label means they are healthier. Add that to people who want to be health conscious and they are stuck between having to buy a healthier egg they cannot afford versus one that is less healthy but more affordable. And they are stuck between a rock and a hard place. So, what is the solution?

    The real source of the problem does not even lie with the companies, per se. The problem is that people accept eggs from a grocery store. If we really want healthy eggs, and if we really want to put an end to the regional distinction between brown egg and white egg, we need to have our own chickens. Neither the brown egg nor the white egg from the grocery store is very healthy. The truly healthy egg is the one you pick out of your coop each day. That is a true free-range chicken: one that can eat the grass and bugs right in your own yard. No matter what color you buy from the store, the egg from the store is an unhealthy egg. The yolk is a sickly, pale yellow, kind of like looking at the sun through a layer of fog. The white is stiff from being cold. The store-bought egg cooks differently. It cooks a dull yellow color and is less dense and filling. The yolk is less rich and creamy. People are stuck between choosing an egg they neither want nor like, but suffer with. The alternative is much richer. An egg from your home is a superior egg. It cooks better, tastes better, lasts longer (you don’t even need to refrigerate it), and looks healthy. The yolk is a rich yellow-orange and larger and creamier. It also tastes better because it is yours. You worked hard for it. The chicken is yours. Things that are yours are just better.

    One thing that is better, and this is a point that even E. B. White did not address, was the kaleidoscope of egg colors available. We are forced by large chicken egg companies to accept brown and white. This makes for a boring life. Life is much richer and far more diverse than brown and white. There are green eggs and blue eggs and brown eggs and speckled eggs and white eggs. We are told to have plain green grass and plain white eggs, and its no wonder people aren’t happy. They don’t have the vivification that color and variety bring. Instead, they accept boring and plain and complain that life is boring and dull. But it isn’t. You wouldn’t know this from buying food at a grocery store. It’s the same way with tomatoes. There are green tomatoes and yellow tomatoes and orange tomatoes, but the store only sells red tomatoes. We live in a society that values “diversity” but doesn’t know the meaning of it.

    In any event, sticking with chickens, it is not overly burdensome to have chickens. They do not require much in the way of yard space or maintenance. They are very low maintenance and yield a high profit. They are also sturdy and can survive the winter. The breeds themselves also come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. A beautiful bird always makes a person’s day brighter – consider how much so the one that feeds you daily as well. All a person needs is one, two, three, or maybe four chickens to get a healthy yield of eggs. Surplus is always good, especially close to winter. Those who really cannot have any chickens because of zero yard space, should advocate for community chicken coops, where you can have your own chicken and your own space. Even so, surplus of local eggs that can be sold cheaper than store bought is still better for both parties. You earn some money; they eat a healthy egg. It is simply not possible to have a healthy egg when it is massed produced. It is not possible to have healthy anything that is massed produced. There is always a sacrifice to be made for mass production. With animals, it is the health of the food.

    Having chickens also helps solve some of our trash problem. Instead of throwing out and wasting food, you feed it to your chicken. They eat everything – even your leftover lima beans. Feed your unwanted or old food to the chickens. They make eggs for you, and you are not wasting anything. Feeding them your food also means less chicken feed cost. By having your own chickens, you get healthier eggs, more colorful eggs, are more self-sufficient (something our nation used to pride itself on), have tastier breakfasts, moister, richer baked goods, and the pleasure of providing for yourself and not relying on a large mass-producing organization for mediocrity. We are humans. We deserve better than mediocrity. E. B. White observed that because we are humans and radiation is bad, we should not have it at all. Maybe the same is true for our food. Mass produced food is bad, so we should not live off it.

    Communities, then, must get past the irrational restrictions on having gardens, pets, livestock, chickens, bees, etc. A person who owns a house should be able to have those things. All things in modesty and respect, but there should be few restrictions. A person should, almost as a right, have chickens and a garden. It should be that a community is weird and doing something wrong by its citizens not having those things. We should support autonomy and health. True health. The state should be promoting these things. There are other benefits as well. Not only do you get healthier food, but you learn responsibility. Kids learn care of animals and self-sufficiency. You must feed and water the chickens and occasionally clean the coop out. This is a daily task that typically takes five minutes in the morning and five in the evening. It requires some effort, but not much effort. The gain is immeasurable. It would benefit the whole community because you would pay more attention to what is in your water, what is being wasted, what dangerous animals are being reintroduced. You would care even more that your neighbor takes care of their home because it would directly affect yours. It forces you to take care of something, and earn something, and that in turn will make you feel more pride about your home and your city and your country. It is one of those infectious things that spreads and affects multiple layers of your life – all of them positive.

    In addition to the variety, the chicken even goes a step further and tells you when she lays an egg. Each chicken sings a unique egg song when she lays an egg. She does not have to do this, but she does. She achieved something and she is proud of it. So, you get variety, beauty, health, and music out of it. All these things E. B. White would approve of, regardless of the egg color.

    There is in fact no negative effect of having a few chickens. This is something that society is missing, where we are no longer promoting on a large scale and in all communities, self-sufficiency, and health.

    Many places and people talk about promoting health and caring for the environment, but they refuse to implement the actual things that would help this. This would be things like having your own chickens growing your own crops.Even if you live in a town-home or an apartment, you could grow your own small garden: there are all sorts of vertical garden systems, hanging baskets, built-in raised planters – all sorts of things you can do to produce your own crops. City planners and architects should be designing these places to incorporate those aspects so that they’re already sort of a built-in feature so that tenants can make their own food, and they could be a little bit healthier. It is also true that adding plants and animals add a certain vibrancy to your life. You tend to find joy in the little colors of plants and flowers, and basking in the fresh smells they produce. If you are surrounded by nothing, you have nothing, and you suffocate from lack of life. People are depressed because they have lost touch with nature, not on the big scale per se, but on the small scale, the local scale, the family scale, which is the only one that really matters.They do not find any joy in nature. Why? Because they have lost sight of the variety in the color. They forget there is more than just a white chicken and a brown chicken, or even that there is a chicken! They forget that there is more than just a white egg and a brown egg. There’s a whole kaleidoscope of egg colors and there’s a whole kaleidoscope of flowers.You have flowers that grow in the winter time; that bloom in the spring; in the summer; in the fall: we have color throughout the year. It’s not dull and bleak.

    In many of his essays, E. B. White touched upon these things. Back in his day when he was writing, he experienced the advent of things like nuclear warfare and radiation through x-rays. He said that these things were bad, but we accept them as common place or even as a good. As I have already touched upon, he would say why do we have a microwave that only gives us a little radiation – how about no radiation at all?This is a very significant point. We are less healthy because of all the radiation and toxicity in everything. We have iron deficiencies because we don’t use cast-iron or eat iron rich foods. We use nonstick pans that have chemicals and as soon as the chemicals wear off, they blend into your food and now we are eating chemically laced food. The food itself is chemically laced and we get the same result.

    We have lost sight of the fact that heating at home with wood is going to provide you more warmth and comfort. It is a little more work. You might have to chop wood and clean a chimney out, but it is better for you. It is healthier for you. There must be a balance of comfort and work. We need a balance of convenience and health. We need less radiation, less chemicals, less mass-produced eggs. That also means that we need less technology: less phones, less TVs, less things that are emitting stuff to us. We need to go back to the certain calmness and stillness that nature brings. We need to be able to appreciate the delight of a clucking chicken or the rattling mockingbird. We need to take a second and look at the variety of butterflies. There is more than just a monarch or the swallowtail. We need less plastics. What happened to using glass for milk bottles and recycling them: true recycling? Instead, we have a plastic jug that just ends up in the ocean. It is the same thing for diapers. It is why I try to use as little disposable diapers as possible. If you want to recycle, you reuse stuff. Food does not get wasted when it is thrown to the chicken. The milk carton is not wasted when it is cleaned and used again.

    There are many real ways in which we can have a healthier society, a healthier life and even a healthier planet, but none of the advocates for it are implementing or advertising or suggesting the right things that we need to do. They say we need to bring the wolves back. We need to save the owl. We need to save the oceans. But they miss the root of the issue. The root of the issue is that our daily life is no longer connected with nature. If we really want to be healthy and environmentally friendly, we start at home. We have stopped producing our own things. Our communities no longer support themselves. Just like small businesses are disappearing left and right and are being replaced by large corporations, so also community independence has been replaced by a few large corporations. The only way to do something well is to take time to do it; it is to put effort into it; it is to labor over it. This will give you a sense of pride and ownership. When everything is done for you, or when all you are doing is copying and pasting, when all you are doing is looking to maximize efficiency in production, you are going to lose quality. Our society prefers the convenience over the quality, and this has led to a society-wide loss of health.

    They also always leave out the human aspect. People want things to be done without us and nature will magically fix things. Our interaction with nature is a bit of a symbiosis: nature will not succeed without us. We will not succeed without nature. Humans are not the problem. Humans can be a problem, but so can the ash-bore beetle; so can the introduction of non-native plants take over. Nature can be a problem. Negative human intervention can be a problem. Obviously, when we do not have any care for nature, and we throw tons of plastics in the ocean, we are the problem, not in the sense that we need to be reduced and exterminated, not in the sense that there’s too many people, but that what we do to cause problems is of a different nature because we have the ability to manipulate nature to our ends. We have a greater responsibility to do more to take care of nature, and maybe to even live more simply. The world would be simpler if we had less plastics, but we also would not have an ocean crisis. When we mismanage things, the problem is not to get rid of people and assume nature will just be happier without us. No, the problem is to just be custodians of nature – to be stewards of nature – to find ways to take care of it so that we are not being wasteful, but that we also allow ourselves to have a greater quality of life. It is good that we can manipulate nature and that we can use it to our advantage, but we do have to be responsible to it. We should not be cutting down the rain-forest en-masse. The problem to part of this is the basis of our culture: ‘I want it now,’ ‘I want immediately,’ ‘I don’t want to have to deal with anything,’which produces a mass production culture. If we take a little more time to put a little extra work into things; if we waited a little longer for food; if we did not have so many restrictions on having chickens in your yard or a small garden or bees, you would have healthier food. The only way fast food can give you food instantaneously is if you have these mass production lines; the only way we can accommodate things like the paper towel, production, and toilet paper, production, and diapers and such is to cut down the rain-forest. We know this is not healthy, so we have to say ‘no we don’t want this,’ and that’s going to be difficult. We must deny ourselves a convenience for the sake of something better. As a people, we do not seem ready for that, or if we are, our leaders are too busy worrying about other things that they lose sight but the fact that they are not doing the things we need. They are focused on saving the planet instead of saving their own people.  

    Humans are not the problem by their nature. Humans are the problem by their actions: by the fact that they do not have a rooted sense of stewardship. We must have a far-sighted view of things: We do not want just our kids to enjoy it, but our grand-kids and our great grand-kids. Of course, if we do not have any kids, which is another problem for another day to discuss, we also lose the perspective. If we are not having children to carry on what we are passing down, if we do not have that long-term thinking, then we are not going to take care of anything, which makes it a multi-layered problem. The solutions are relatively simple, but they do require people to amend their way of life.It is not always easy having chickens, and it is not always easy tilling a garden. It can be inconvenient at times, but it is worth it. If we truly want things to be better – if we want a healthier egg – we must take care of the chicken. We must engage in that work. We must make that little change. Instead of going to the store and buying a dozen eggs every week, we get up in the morning and make sure our chicken has food and water. We spend a few minutes of the day cleaning out the coop. It requires a sacrifice. It requires effort. It requires inconvenience. We have to learn to accept that we need to be inconvenienced if we want things to change and get better. People will find as I have found that when you are inconvenienced by these little things, it is annoying at first, but the inconvenience goes away. We can take a lot of inconvenience.They take less time the longer you have them.

    So, the conundrum that E. B. White introduced between the north and the south, the brown egg and the white egg, is a little different now. The problem is not that we have white eggs and brown eggs. The problem is that we do not have other eggs. The problem is that the eggs are not my eggs. The problem is that the egg is controlled by someone else. Access to the egg is out of our reach, and this is something that needs to change. So, it appears I am not E. B. White, despite some similarities, but it is apparent that he and I both agree that having a chicken at home does a man a world of good: in daily pleasure, in owning and caring for something, and having something good to eat.

  • The Burial of a Duck

    I’ve been meaning to share a reflection for a while, but it has been a busy few weeks, and I decided to wait until our old mother duck died since I wanted to share a reflection on burial and its connection with children. And just the other day, she passed. Not in the way my family imagined, yet not unpredictable either.

    Snow and Ice prevented us from going to a morning Low Mass so we ended up making the High Mass around lunchtime. This meant that we made it home several hours later than normal. What did we come home to? Our beloved duck being eaten by a couple of hawks! She did not die of old age like we hoped. She died by winter-hungry hawks. As I hinted above, this was not unpredictable. Our mother duck was a Pekin — bred for meat — and she was the first duck we ever got. Her sister died just last year. We had three or four ducks from our first batch almost five years ago. Two of the Pekins, who were both females lived through almost every imaginable event. The one that died last year survived multiple fox attacks, a broken leg, a hole in her foot webbing, and getting caught in some netting somehow and tearing up her face and bill. She somehow managed to die of old age (around 4) and lived a full, adventurous life. Her sister, the one that died the other day, lived through all the same stuff, but managed to live unscathed until the very end. By the time she got to almost five years old, she was limping and falling behind and basically neglected by the rest of the flock. She would also be seen stretching her wings out or simply laying down and not moving. We all knew it would be any day and we wanted her to be happy and free until she did die.

    I knew she was vulnerable to hawk and fox attacks and what not, but figured she’d die before they got to her. That was not the case, as it turned out, but it was only by a couple of days. When we scared the hawks off (red-tailed hawks, by the way) and looked at her corpse she was found in her usual sitting position. For all I knew she was already dead. If the hawk killed her, she put up no fight and didn’t even move. There was no struggle and I doubt she even suffered much. Obviously being vicious killed would still be a great suffering, but she was so weak and out of it whatever severity it was did not last long. Anyhow, that’s how our duck died. She survived two moves and all manner of attacks. Last year, when the first of our mother pekins died the children insisted we had to bury her. When we got home from church, we had to bury this one, of course. And where did the children want her? Right next to the other pekin. So our two pekins are buried together — both at old age for a meat duck and both our beloved first pets, as it were.

    I wanted to use this as an occasion to discuss the importance of burial, especially with children. Confrontation with death is a bit of a ghastly thing. It is terrible and people typically do not like to see a lifeless corpse — especially something or someone beloved. We’d almost rather not see it and just sear into our memory only the last good memory. Yet, we must endure it. We must suffer it. Death is a part of life and far from being normalized or desensitizing, people, especially children, need to be exposed to it. Not in a forced way or a violent or brutal way, but as it occasions throughout life. When a pet dies, when an elderly relative dies, or some other occasion of death. It is necessary to witness and confront it. Not because it brings joy. It brings with it finality — we can’t live in denial, and it also brings with it the sobering reality that we too will be dead some day.

    For a child, it is necessary to understand this. For us, this understanding happens primarily through our farm animals. We’ve had to bury lots of things. The kids find a dead bird and want to bury it. We had to bury our first dog that ran into the road and got hit by a car; we had to bury these two ducks. The connection of death and burial go hand in hand. It brings closure to the relationship. We literally say that we lay someone to rest. It is true. We lay them to rest and we accept that they are resting. When that happens, we connect the finality of death with their absence from us. There will always be a hole for people and creatures we hold dear, but it does not consume us because the act of being involved in the burial helps give the grief a closure.

    We don’t bury everything that dies on the farm, but it is important to bury the things that matter. In this case it was two ducks. We’ve also buried favorite feathers from chickens snatched away by foxes. There is mourning in the loss, but the burial is the closure that helps heal it. This is starkly contrasted from the practice nowadays to cremate everything and burn it. Cremation is ultimately a rejection of life because instead of honoring the body that bore a soul, it seeks to completely destroy it and turn it to dust so that it disappears from the earth. Good burial is the best way to honor the life that lived.

    Even the life of a duck can be good and honorable, and instead of tossing it for the vultures, it demanded a certain respect — at least for the kids because it was family to them. It did have a more gruesome end than we hoped, but we buried the remains as they remained. We did not need to change any more states. It was buried as it was. And everyone was involved — from the toddler to the oldest. Everyone was there to connect the finality of death with the burial. There is an expectation and understanding that things die, and it helps prepare us for when it occurs — often when we least expect it. We can bear it easier when we keep it before us (memento mori, as the saying is), and when we participate in it. The closer we are to something the more necessary it is to participate in the burial of it.

    For us this happened in a real way when my aunt unexpectedly died. The first close death on my side of the family that I was heavily involved in. She was very close to my wife and kids and I, and it was not an easy process. But I am at peace with it because I was heavily involved and participated in the process. She was also laid to rest in a cemetery fully intact as God intended. We know where she is and we wait for the coming resurrection at the end of time. There is peace in this orderly process. The kids were also there, and they were able to connect in a real way the absence of her with why she is absent. They saw her get laid to rest, and could look back fondly on her memory. They miss her and have occasioned to cry on that account, but there is also understanding and acceptance because they were part of the process.

    Even with a simple duck, a creature that is almost as mischievous as a goose (a separate post on the goose another day), it is important to go through the process of death. It completes the cycle of life. We raised her from a chick — the older kids remember her splashing in the bathtub — and now we get to lay her to rest as a ripe old duck that brought small joy to our little family. We always had a trusty duck to see and delight in. She was happy as a clam (her favorite place to nap was in the dog water bowl). But is important to our nature to recall death and participate in its reality, and it is important to teach children to take care of the dead (it is a work of mercy in the Catholic Church) so they grow up caring for others from all phases of life. We teach them to love from beginning to end. They have a respect of life at all stages and the little bits of love shown to creatures and pets will extend outward to real people, even strangers, even enemies, when they get older. If they are raised to not be involved, to not care, to cremate and forget essentially, they will not have respect for people and they will add to the chaos of our society that does not respect life from beginning to end. In fact, for our culture, by and large, the end is for other people to handle and funeral homes to dispense with. It is a nicety to go to a service as opposed to a work that needs performed. Children have to be raised to respect all manner of life and to care from beginning, middle, and end. Aspects of life are very much like a vacuum. If the right things do not fill it, something else will, and you will not like the results. Children can only turn out well if they are well formed. Its a work that a parent has to do. If they dont, someone will, and usually the parent will not like the result, but the damage will have been done. This is a frequent issue in homes with kids in public schools. We make the sacrifices so we can avoid those problems, because we are going to form our children, not some stranger, and sometimes that means I must bury a duck.

    I ended up writing a Christmas story to honor this Pekin that died on Gaudete Sunday. I hope to have it illustrated and published next year. It is a cute story about this duck and its life, and I hope that this short, rambling reflection offers some kernel of reflection on the value of life and the need for proper burial and how disordered our society is as it relates to death and burial these days.

  • Late Night Bonding

    One of the adventures of life, which few people ever talk about, is the late night bonding that occurs between a parent and child. This occurs usually in the early toddler years. I don’t mean the typical late-night feeding and changes that mom’s typically deal with. There is, perhaps, a certain sort of bonding there, but I’m speaking of the rare chance a parent has to bond with their child in the middle of the night when the toddler is awake. And I mean WIDE awake. The child is set to bed, but lo and behold, a couple hours later, something was off in their internal clock and they think 9pm is 6am and they are ready to go.

    This is a very delicate time. You want to be asleep. You are tired. The toddler is tired, or was, and now she wants to play. What do you do? You have a couple options, but it requires great strength to do the latter. The first option, which is ideal, is that you change and feed and try to put the toddler back to sleep. When that fails, you have only one other option. You have to be awake with them. This is where virtue comes into play. You can be a grump about it; you can stick the child in the crib and let them cry all night; you can disassociate and let them play in a safe area while you sleep.

    Or you can surmount the begrudging tendencies and take the time to bond with your child. It is not easy, but you ought — you need — to do it. They likely won’t be up too long, so you sacrifice some sleep and enjoy a quiet time of playing with them in the still of night. The air is calm and cool, the crickets are chirping, and the world is asleep. But you get to play with your toddler. This is a rare and special occurrence.

    This happened to me just the other night. Everyone else was suffering from an early fall cold. We were all tired, and we desperately wanted sleep, but M flipped her clock and was awake. We tried different tactics to remind her that it is bedtime, and none of them worked. Finally, by 1am I decided it was time to just suffer through it and take her downstairs. So we played, just the two of us, for about two hours.

    M got to play with some cards and run around and giggle. We danced together to the Blue Danube, and a song about the Battle of Little Bighorn — which she loves because her siblings love it and are always singing it. We then went into the kitchen and served a traditional late night snack. We had a cheese stick and pepperoni and crackers. I took the time to get ahead of breakfast (a natural thing to do at 2am), and we made biscuits together. M managed not to dump the bowl full of flour, and we made some average tasting biscuits. Good enough for 2am. M also had her fill of flour and butter despite my best efforts to remind her that it is better cooked than raw. Then she got tired. Around 3am we went up back to bed, and she slept soundly the rest of the night.

    I got to have a special time with my toddler alone — which is not common during the hustle and bustle of a normal day or week, but I was only able to enjoy it because I chose to participate in it. I could have grumped all night or let her fuss all night, but I chose the harder path and it yielding fruit. I was tired, yes, but I was able to enjoy the time, get ahead on the day, and have meaningful time with the toddler. She got to spend time with dad, which is important for children, and she got her energy out enough to resume sleep. The next night she was on her normal schedule and all was well with the world.

    It’s important to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. They won’t always be pleasant, but they will be rewarding and there will be an unspoken bond that helps form to strengthen the tie of father and child. It also reminds the parent that at that young age it’s not the child’s fault, so the child shouldn’t be punished for it by being left to fuss all night so you can be convenienced with sleep. Instead, turn it constructive, and if possible, nap the next day. I might also recommend making cookies instead of biscuits. But don’t let things slip because things don’t go as planned. As I always tell new aviators: fly the airplane, don’t let the airplane fly you.